Friday, September 15, 2017


As we saw the responses we got from sharing last picture, we were glad, but then we were afraid. 
We are suddenly aware of the exposure that might happen. I, too, feel the weight as i decided to reveal the truth. And we're not sure if we're ready for it. 

Humans have been trained to create a system of defence to protect themselves from any fall, to avoid disappointment, to run away from things that we know might bring us harm. And they become cold, distant, they become... strong. But is it real strength ? 
I have never met a more honest person than Timo. He came up to me not with strength, but weaknesses, the first impression i have for him is that he is vulnerable. And to the world, vulnerabilty IS a weakness. 

While the world is teaching people to become strong, Timo has been teaching me to become vulnerable. And in my eyes, that's his strength. 
But right now, we are afraid. How afraid we are to be exposed for who we are, to be exposed to criticism and judgement from those who are sinister to weakness, from those who would be happy to see us in this pit. We suddenly reluctant to share this issue, realizing how we could be under a spotlight to become a subject of mere curiosity, or a subject of mockery, of gossip, of pity. Oh, the possibility of us being hurt further instead, it might even jeopardise our relationship. 
The choice then is not to share until deliverance come, or to share only my part in this ordeal.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Love in the face of depression

We've been receiving compliments from friends for our relationship. People have been seeing us a great couple, natural, talented, and other good definitions.
And it troubles me, everytime.
It seems to be an understatement to say "yes, there are some rocky roads, some arguments, but we can go through them all!" (Or insert here anything you have heard others say when they are asked, "how's your relationship going?")
And it troubles us because they seem to overlook the core of what's really happening in our relationship, it reduces the battle to only a sort of.. "struggle". And we hate it. We hate for us to be seen as strong, as perfect couple, as whatever people see from the outside, from our pictures. We hate it because it does us injustice for what we have been battling with. We hate it because at the end of our journey, people will never see the glory and the beauty in the evil face of suffering, of depression. And the hope for people like timo, for those who cut themselves, for those who go through sleepless night hating themselves and life, or for those who are suicidal.
Depression has been understated and has been reduced to nothing more than just a 'stress'. I was one of those people, thinking that they are weakling, that depression isn't real it's just in your head. And i still find many who think of depression as something to be hidden, or those who ignorantly and easily say "it will be for your good." Worse, people who think that depression must have something to do for not having a "good relationship with GOD"! Imagine how furious we are. And i've had enough.
So, i want to raise the curtain, with honesty, how our journey has been. With hope, for ignorant people to understand a bit - this is said with anger. And with hope, to reach and tell those of you out there who feel unloved, who feel meaningless, who feel the pain of loss, who hate themselves, who question GOD, who question their existency, who are tormented with comparison, those who are depressed - this is said in compassion and love. We cry with you.
Our ultimate hope, for you to know, there is hope of being alive, for there is the Faithful One. 

note : to see Timo's repainted version, go to his instagram acc @gratimocious.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Late easter post..

A drawing requested by a friend for sunday school purpose on Easter day.. Forgot to post this one.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Ousting the Black

This was meant to be for art competition, but it didnt get through because apparently they wanted fine-arsty style despite not depicting anywhere near the theme Unity in Diversity.

Cats and Plant

Soooo, early this August i attended Popcon Asia 2017 and made some keychains, standees, and stickers with the theme CATS AND PLANTS ! Loooveee the receptions from those who came to our booths, their responses were very positive ! i think im gonna make some more..

Some design from old company..

Pretty proud of how they turned out...


Impending project.....

Sweet Escape

Pardon for the lack of updates ! This time i'll post some of the development and final works for SweetEscape. We did a video explainer and it was fun ! You can go to youtube link for full video if you're interested.